LOST and (not really) Found # 1

I hate J.J. Abrams, Damon Lindelof and Carlton Cuse.

First, if you consider yourself a true fan of Lost, and you’ve never checked out http://www.lostpedia.com/wiki/Main_Page - do yourself a favor. Check it out.

I hate J.J. Abrams because he started Lost, and Lindelof and Cuse continued Abrams’ sadistic enchantment of millions of people around the world….The show Lost has caused divorces, the kicking of countless puppies, exasperated gasps, and millions of arms thrown in the air in frustration. Okay…maybe not the divorces and puppy kicking, but definitely the rest.

This article is the first in what I can only assume will be many, many articles and comments on the craziness that is Lost. Be warned, there will be SPOILERS, so read ahead at your own risk. But more importantly, there will be a lively discussion on all of the ridiculous conspiracy theories, countless connections between the characters, and as usual, anything else I feel like. As for this first installment – enjoy, but beware - as this show is twisted and crazy, my articles on it will probably be more senseless and rambling than normal, so prepare yourself.


I thought for this first article, instead of trying to go back to the very beginning and start there, I’d start with the most recent episode and go from there. This could end up being 2 pages or 10 pages depending on how obsessive I get while typing this.

So what do we know now? Michael is back…and apparently going insane. In his flashbacks, we learned where he’s been for the last season – apparently wallowing in his own self-pity, trying to kill himself. But as the big guy from Ben’s camp told him – “The island won’t let that happen.” Now, ignoring for a moment the broader implications of that statement, (and the fact that he put a loaded gun to his head and pulled the trigger and the gun didn’t go off) let’s move along.

Michael got off the island and allegedly told Walt just what he’d done to accomplish that feat – kill Libby and Anna Lucia (as a side note, I really wasn’t sorry to see Anna Lucia go – she was really getting on my nerves). Now, why he would tell Walt this, I don’t know. Honestly, I’m not even sure he told Walt. It does seem like the most likely scenario, given the state of things and contextual clues, but I can’t tell you how many times I’ve speculated on this show using that rationale, only to find I was wrong. Just wrong.

Regardless, Michael never did confirm that he told Walt. However, if he did not tell Walt, this begs the question – why are he and Walt not living together?

We learned that Ben really does deserve the title of Master Manipulator, as he was able to get Michael to get on a boat for him with plans to kill the entire crew. Michael even went as far to set off a bomb (that was obviously a dud – and a test) and then dismantled the radio and the engines. Ben told Michael he should do this because he could help save his friends, and that would help with his guilt over killing Libby and Anna Lucia, but I seriously doubt that’s why Ben wants him there – Ben’s motives are always self-serving. Regardless, let’s rewind for just a second to see how we got here.

The big guy from Ben’s camp told Michael that Charles Widmore (Penny’s Dad) planted the fake Oceanic Flight 815 on the bottom of the ocean and did so because he believed there were survivors from Oceanic 815 somewhere. Now, let’s first ask why Widmore would believe this, and how he knows anything about the island. If we look back a couple of episodes to the last Desmond-centric episode, Penny said, when he called her on Christmas Eve, that she knew about the island. If you remember the season finale from a couple seasons ago, when Desmond barely stopped the hatch from blowing up, it briefly flashed to Penny and two guys who were apparently tracking the electronic or electromagnetic disturbance coming from the island. So she knew something. However, if you remember a flashback from the last Desmond episode, when it appeared he was going back and forth between the past and the present, he ran into Charles Widmore at an auction where Widmore purchased a ship’s log from a ship called the Black Rock. Remember that? (It’s a ship on the island - where they got the dynamite in the season 2 opener that blew up the scientist, Arzt.)

Anyway, where did Widmore hear about the Black Rock? How did he know the Black Rock ended up on the island, and how the hell did he know that there was anything crazy about the island? I guess money really can buy you anything, because he seems to be purchasing info left and right. But let’s not forget that Widmore is not afraid to get his hands dirty – e.g. the video of him beating up the guy Ben claimed was someone he tried to put in Widmore’s camp. Widmore is a gangster, and it seems like he’s my favorite kind – he worked his way up, kicking ass where he had to, and then he parlayed that into some good investments, some hostile takeovers, and now he’s filthy rich and hunting for the island where crazy things happen…..but, I digress.

Did Widmore actually put the plane in the water, or was it Ben? Because Ben also has a vested interest in making sure that people stay away from the island – he doesn’t need people to disrupt his little kingdom. However, as Ben stated to Locke, were Widmore to discover the island, he could charge any price he wanted to for people to come visit, especially sick people, since the island apparently heals all sorts of illnesses.

I think it’s more likely Widmore planted the fake plane – he had the money, and he had the resources. But why now? Was someone else onto the secret? And if so, how the hell did that person find out? If you haven’t been able to figure it out already, you should now know why watching this show has made me dumber than law school did, and why I can’t ever have one train of thought at a time.

Regardless, the plane was a plant, and Widmore sent the ship to find the island. Now, let’s talk about the crack team of complete nutjobs that he put together to go find it.

- Lupidis – the crazy helicopter pilot who was supposed to be flying 815 the day it went down (what he was doing instead, I know not – but I’m sure we’ll find out).

- Naomi – random hot girl – every crew needs a random hot girl.

- Miles – crazy psychic/ESP guy

- Farraday – crazy genius who knows about the process for some kind of time travel.

Now, let’s review – three of the four descriptions involve the word crazy. Don’t forget all the crazy mercenaries on the boat, too. (Again, crazy + crazy = integral part of any Lost plotline.) And now, the only non-crazy one – Naomi – is dead. Typical. The hot girls on this show have worse luck than black guys in horror movies. Thank God for Kate, Claire and Juliet.

Most importantly, let’s not forget who assembled this team for Widmore – Mr. Abaddon – possibly the scariest person to have appeared on this show yet. As usual, a name is not just a name. From Lostpedia - "Abaddon" is the name of the biblical Angel of the Abyss (Revelation 9:11). The name is Greek for "destruction" or "the destroyer". As a place, it is likened to Sheol or hell. When Abaddon was telling Naomi about the mission, he said that every member of her team had been chosen for a particular purpose, Widmore clearly had a plan for putting all this crazy on one boat.

But moving back to where we are on the boat: People are going crazy on it, so others are trying to get off of it, and Michael is Ben’s spy – and now he’s been exposed to Sayid and Desmond, and as the episode ended – the captain. And that’s where we’re left for another month.
Other random notes on this episode: Ben apparently has some more freedom, and used that to tell Alex and her boyfriend to follow Rousseau to “The Temple”, a station I don’t think we’ve seen before. Naturally, Ben, as the Master Manipulator used this to get the boyfriend killed, and Rousseau is likely dead as well, and Alex is now back in the hands of his people where he feels she’s safe. However, I don’t think Rousseau is dead – she’s pretty island-savvy, having been there for a while, so she may be faking to find out what’s going on and who was doing the shooting.
The big guy (Tom – just remembered his name) from the island is apparently gay – totally didn’t see that coming.
The watch that Michael traded for the guns and bullets (which he tried to kill himself with) was Jin’s watch which, ironically, Jin had once tried to kill Michael over.

RANDOM QUESTIONS I thought of while watching this episode:
(1) Since the island wouldn’t let Michael kill himself, is that why Jack wasn’t “able” to jump off the bridge in his flash-forward?
(2) Who was shooting at Rousseau, Alex and the boyfriend?
(3) Why did Libby tell Michael not to push the button if the bomb was a dud? (Perhaps because that would mean he’d succumbed to Ben’s will?)
(4) Who was the old guy next to Michael in the hospital? (The camera seemed to pause on him long enough to make him seem significant.)

Again, I hate Abrams (even though he’s no longer involved with the show), Lindelof, and Cuse.

NEXT TIME: The next article will be a generic discussion on the Oceanic 6, and their flashforwards, a talk about the timelines of said flashbacks, and why I think the producers choosing Aaron to be one of the 6 was a HUGE copout.

-Preview